Oscar: Where
did your beautiful heart come from?
Audrey: A beautiful heart is a great strength but also a curse. I can’t say where it came from but I can explain how it still exists. I work every day to understand Psychology and human behavior. In my life I have faced cruelty so grand that there are years of my life that I have blocked out. The hardest thing in life is not to have a good heart but to maintain it. By understanding the minds and therefore actions of others, I am able to forgive and release myself of any anger or bitterness the past has instilled. The curse is not only in the fact that others seek out goodness in order to use it to serve selfish purposes but also, a good heart cannot help but to assume that all others are naturally good as well. An ideal that unfortunately is far from factual. A good heart keeps a person naive trusting and hopeful. That is where the strength within lies. Without those characteristics, true happiness will never be found. I now have knowledge and experience. Situations that emerge because I am a good no longer affect me the same.
I have passed my heart to my son. He is pure goodness. However, I have also passed on my knowledge. He realizes that there are many that are not. That is what I am most proud of. He possesses the greatness of a good heart, yet the knowledge he needs to protect himself so that that truth need not be a weakness in his life.
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Audrey: A beautiful heart is a great strength but also a curse. I can’t say where it came from but I can explain how it still exists. I work every day to understand Psychology and human behavior. In my life I have faced cruelty so grand that there are years of my life that I have blocked out. The hardest thing in life is not to have a good heart but to maintain it. By understanding the minds and therefore actions of others, I am able to forgive and release myself of any anger or bitterness the past has instilled. The curse is not only in the fact that others seek out goodness in order to use it to serve selfish purposes but also, a good heart cannot help but to assume that all others are naturally good as well. An ideal that unfortunately is far from factual. A good heart keeps a person naive trusting and hopeful. That is where the strength within lies. Without those characteristics, true happiness will never be found. I now have knowledge and experience. Situations that emerge because I am a good no longer affect me the same.
I have passed my heart to my son. He is pure goodness. However, I have also passed on my knowledge. He realizes that there are many that are not. That is what I am most proud of. He possesses the greatness of a good heart, yet the knowledge he needs to protect himself so that that truth need not be a weakness in his life.
Oscar: The
creative genius alive in you that allows you to simultaneously exude powerful
experience of sexuality and spirituality, what produced it?
Audrey: I
don’t know. Poetry was the only class I got a D in while in college. Obviously,
I never imagined I had a gift with words.
I began writing on my MySpace blog right after I left my abusive marriage. I wrote from a place deeper than my conscience self. It is almost as if I plagiarize. The words flow onto paper and I have no idea what I have written until the process is complete. I am very spiritual and I believe there is nothing more spiritual that one can share than the act of making love. I suppose that is why both are so present in my writing.
I began writing on my MySpace blog right after I left my abusive marriage. I wrote from a place deeper than my conscience self. It is almost as if I plagiarize. The words flow onto paper and I have no idea what I have written until the process is complete. I am very spiritual and I believe there is nothing more spiritual that one can share than the act of making love. I suppose that is why both are so present in my writing.
Oscar: How
does your writing factor into your sense of life mission at present?
Audrey: 7
years ago, I lived as if I played the role of Julia Roberts in “Sleeping with
the Enemy”. I am not sure how I got out as I prayed for either his death or my
own. I believed that to be the only way I could ever leave. Writing was a gift
given to me by something much greater than myself at that time. I was insane, I
didn’t know where I was or who I was. I had no sense of time or space. My words
gave me reality. They explained to me my
problems, what caused them and how to emerge and surpass the bane my
experiences had created.
It took everything I am but I have recovered. I am very careful because I am prone to abuse and could easily fall back into old patterns of behavior.
I believe my present writing is to remind myself of what I fought for and to show others, who have followed my path through the years that life can be reclaimed as I am proof.
It took everything I am but I have recovered. I am very careful because I am prone to abuse and could easily fall back into old patterns of behavior.
I believe my present writing is to remind myself of what I fought for and to show others, who have followed my path through the years that life can be reclaimed as I am proof.
Oscar: What
is that thing greater than yourself that you are committed to, no matter what?
Audrey: Instinct.
As I said, I am very spiritual. Something higher than myself speaks to me
daily. I believe it to be destiny offering me directions. People wonder about
their paths in life, and find themselves lost as I once was. I believe our
journey as set by God is the easiest thing to acknowledge. It is what we know,
instilled at birth and strengthened by experience.
Oscar: What
is your sense of music and spoken word poetry, where are they going?
Audrey: I don’t know where spoken word is going, I am sad to say that I rarely find
time to even record my own these days.
As for music, lyrics are being lost. I love music that inspires and teaches. Poetry, I suppose. I think that most of the music that is popular in today’s world is lacking a meaning deeper than entertainment.
As for music, lyrics are being lost. I love music that inspires and teaches. Poetry, I suppose. I think that most of the music that is popular in today’s world is lacking a meaning deeper than entertainment.
Oscar: What
is your sense of the why of the conflicts between adult women and men, people
of different ethnic groups, people of different economic groups, just people of
different social or gender preferences and religions?
Audrey: Ignorance. Society teaches
depending on geography, background…. Stereotypes are too common. If a group of people are taught to hate
another group and given solid reasons, they will hate. Without a voice to tell
them anything different they cannot be blamed for their views.
Oscar: Who
is your current greatest living influence and why?
Audrey: Sam Vaknin. He is a world renowned expert on Narcissism and abuse. I believe I would have eventually found my way to mental health however his articles and his book "Malignant Self - Love: Narcissism Revisited" have greatly escalated the process.
Audrey: Sam Vaknin. He is a world renowned expert on Narcissism and abuse. I believe I would have eventually found my way to mental health however his articles and his book "Malignant Self - Love: Narcissism Revisited" have greatly escalated the process.
Oscar: What
are your recommendations for families, couples and singles with children?
Audrey: Always be honest with your children. There are words that are appropriate and ways to tell explain things to children in words they can contemplate. Children are often treated like second class citizens. They are born with instinct and they feel when something is wrong. Their world is built around their immediate surroundings and if they are not informed of the facts that are affecting their lives, they will make them up. Generally, finding fault within themselves, leading them to age with guilt, shame and a lack of self-worth.
Audrey: Always be honest with your children. There are words that are appropriate and ways to tell explain things to children in words they can contemplate. Children are often treated like second class citizens. They are born with instinct and they feel when something is wrong. Their world is built around their immediate surroundings and if they are not informed of the facts that are affecting their lives, they will make them up. Generally, finding fault within themselves, leading them to age with guilt, shame and a lack of self-worth.
Oscar: What
is your sense of what your future holds?
Audrey: I don’t know… My destiny does and it speaks to me daily through instinct. Little steps as to not overwhelm. As long as I remain on the path it leads me down, something remarkable.
Conclusion of Part One - Continue with Part Two
Audrey: I don’t know… My destiny does and it speaks to me daily through instinct. Little steps as to not overwhelm. As long as I remain on the path it leads me down, something remarkable.
Conclusion of Part One - Continue with Part Two
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Audrey Michelle Special Edition Lady in the Spotlight Interview with Audrey Michelle
Audrey Michelle Special Edition Lady in the Spotlight Interview with Audrey Michelle
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